Album Review: Some People are on the Pitch they think its all over by the Dentists (1985) (Label: Spruck Records)

Despite copious amount of nicotine, alcohol and fried food I have somehow managed to defy the fertility gods and sire three beautiful children. I now have responsibilities like a mortgage and trying to teach my kids how to avoid becoming social reprobates.

I have also managed to pick up lots of strange habits like insisting my tea tastes better from a particular mug, never being able to sleep unless I have 'my pillow', being confused to the point of distraction over my eldest child's fashion sense, insisting on buying physical format music and moaning about all manner of trivialities and minutiae in life.

I like to explain it all by saying I have matured intellectually enough to know what is right and wrong and to know what I like. This, of course, is merely a euphemism for the reality of the situation...i.e. I am rapidly getting old.